Since ridding myself of the stache, I’ve been sporting the clean shaven, soulpatch-only look.  Does the fact that I’m without a chin beard surprise you?  Well, it should, gawdammit.  Right now is only the third time since I graduated high school that I’ve been goatless.  The first was my sophomore year of college when I first donned the stache and dressed up like Ron Jeremy (I was pretty popular that year [wink, nudge {except not}]), the second was in February of my senior year where I felt like being adventurous, and now, present day America, is the third time, after a relatively crappy stint with my not-even-a-Members-Only-jacket-could-save-me stache.

My point is (and yes, I do have one) that years of growing and trimming my li’l goat has made me pretty inadequate when it comes to shaving my chin.  I dare say I suck at it.  I can’t do it without minor lacerations or missing huge patches.  My inability to shave my chin has made me question my manliness and will no doubt make you question it as well.  I think it’s time for either the goat or the chinstrap to come back.  What do you think?

I don’t know what to think of Heroes this season.  Sure, it’s showing a lot more potential plotwise than it’s less-than-stellar second season, but, like season two, it’s severely lacking in some of the integral components that made the show such a big hit in the first place.  I’m talking about strong screenplays, memorable characters that are adequately developed, an ominous undertone of doom and destruction, bitching special effects, and the like.  As I said earlier, they at least have the plot right this time, but everything else is notably absent.  The writing is still kind of shitty, the connections are becoming as vague as LOST (not in the good way), and a lot of the new characters are relatively disposable.  Remember that one gal from New Orleans last season who could imitate everything she saw?  Me neither.

As weak as many of the new characters are, some of the new characters are beginning to wear on me a little bit.  For example, Hiro is starting to piss me off with his constant stupidity (comic relief, perhaps) and his adament desire to become the dumbest and most tactless hero of all time by whatever retarded means necessary.  Quit traveling through time, idiot.  You’re going to fuck everything up.  For a self-proclaimed nerd who’s in love with Star Trek and other forms of sci-fi, you sure don’t know a whole lot about the space-time continuum.  Same goes for Ando, his sidekick who is as endearing as he is clueless.  Many of the show’s problems are rooted in their sheer stupidity.  It’s difficult for me to believe that two people could be so collectively stupid.

But at least Sylar is back in all his ambiguously villainous glory, cracking open skulls and stealing brains like ice cream from a fat kid who’s too chubby and imobile to run after you when you steal his ice cream cone.  I like his character more than anyone else on the show because he’s constantly changing and keeping us guessing as to what he’s going to do next.  That can’t be said of many of the other characters, save for maybe Nathan Petrelli and Noah Bennett.  

This season is by no means bad; it simply isn’t as good as the brilliant first season.  I’m optimistic that it’ll get better, but who knows.  It’s kind of sad that this show, which is only good when it’s at its best, can get renewed with flying colors when better, more emotionally realistic shows such as Friday Night Lights have to depend on a hope and a prayer every year to get a new season.  Oh well. 

Do any of you even watch this show?  It’s probably something I should have determind before I wrote this.

The Pleasure of My Company

Confession:  I think Steve Martin is one funny son of a bitch.  While a few his most recent films are by no means great or even good (Cheaper By The Dozen, The Pink Panther, etc.), you can’t deny the comedic brillance of such films as Planes, Trains, and Automobiles, Bowfinger, The Jerk, The Three Amigos, and many, many more.  Many of his old SNL sketches have stood the test of time.  Watch his “King Tut” skit and tell me differently.

What many people don’t know, however, is that Steve Martin is a very accomplished and talented writer.  I just finished reading his novella, The Pleasure of My Company, for the second time the other day, and it was every bit as hilarious the second time around as it was the first.  The book is about Daniel Pecan Cambridge, who is, essentially, an introverted obsessive-compulsive nut who has some of the weirdest quirks and tendencies imaginable.  Such tendencies include having 1000 watts of lightbulbs lit in his apartment at all time, avoiding walking over curbs, going to Kinko’s just to touch all of the copy machines, making “magic” mathematical squares, and many more.  

Sounds crazy, doesn’t he?  On paper, yes.  Martin tells the story from Daniel’s first-person perspective, and he employs such a nonchalante tone to Daniel’s voice that his OCD doesn’t appear to be at all strange. He explains all of his quirks in such a no-nonsense and to-the-point fashion that you actually come to understand why he has all of the strange habits.  You might even come to think that Daniel is normal and you, the reader, are the crazy one for walking over curbs and lackadasically turning off lights in your apartment whenever you damn well please.

What an exciting time for Hollywood!  Two relatively well-known celebrities have recently either come out of the closet or admitted to currently dating someone of the same sex! Wow!  You can tell by my excessive use of the exclamation mark that I really care about this and totally think that it’s newsworthy!  El oh el!

You will have to distinct reactions for both of the subjects at hand.  For one, the revelation will only make you stare at the computer screen and say, “Well, dur.”  The other will make males–and only males–pause their Family Guy DVD’s, pop the collars on their polo shirts, throw up their hands and say, “That’s hella tight, bra!”  I won’t insult your intelligence by telling which revelation warrants which reaction.

New father Clay Aiken revealed to the world the other day that he is, in fact, a homosexual, shocking absolutely nobody.  Secondly, tabloid magnet Lindsay Lohan, who was pretty attractive before kicked that nasty eating habit, has made it known that she’s been dating a woman for quite some time.  So she kisses girls and likes it.  Did you pick up on my pop culture reference there?

There are the stories.  Do with them what you will.

“Another Way to Die,” the theme song by Jack White and Alicia Keys for the upcoming James Bond film, Quantum of Solace, is streaming online and just begging you to listen to it.  

Naturally, I think it’s bad ass, but that isn’t really saying much; Jack White could sing the recipe to Shepherd’s Pie, a dish I loathe, and I’d totally love it.  I think the man is a modern legend and will be spoken in the same breath as guys like Keith Richards, Eric Clapton, and Jimmy Page a few years down the road.  F Kid Rock–Jack White is the Rock and Roll Jesus.  Period.  Anyway, I love the song.  It’s great.  

Don’t let me make up your mind for you.  Follow the link and listen for yourself.