COME HOME ERIC
Eric’s like any other kid, a real good heart but a real hot head
That always hits boys right around that age
A lineman on the football team, a sophomore playing varsity
A Friday night hero on his way.

Doesn’t see the point of school so he ditches class, he’s being cool
But really all it does is upset his mom
So he gets grounded to his room,  gets so bored, nothing to do
But in his head he thinks he’s doing nothing wrong.

He says, “I’m 16 and I can’t wait to finish high school and run away,
I know this town’s gonna be the death of me
All these rules are so unfair, it’s to the point that I don’t care
But every day keeps dragging on and on
As soon as I can I swear I’m leaving home.”

His senior year is finally here, the day he gets to leave is near
And when he’s gone everything will be alright
With senioritis attitude, he can be so mean and act so rude
That his mother cries herself to sleep at night

He says, “I’m 18 and I can’t wait to join the army and run away,
I know this town’s gonna be the death of me
The army will tell me what to do, it’s better than living here with you
Cuz everyday keeps draggin on and on
As soon as I can I swear I’m leaving home.”

A Humvee on a Baghdad road, some bullets fly, a bomb explodes
But he’s so scared he couldn’t move if he tried
When the day is done he cries and cries from watching one of his brothers die
And wishes he could just go back in time.

He says, “I’m 25 and I can’t wait to leave this hell hole and run away,
I swear Iraq will be the death of me
Back in high school I was wrong, I’m sorry now and I love you mom
Cuz everyday keeps dragging on and on
As soon as I can I swear I’m coming home.”

THREE DAY BENDER
It all starts with a call, “hey bro, do you wanna grab a cold one?”
Then one becomes two, and two becomes three a.m.
You crawl into bed with a dizzy head
Wake up in the morning wishing you were dead
But when your work days done, you do it all over again

I’m on a three day bender baby watch me go
I’m on a three day bender baby rock and roll

You wake up at eleven in the clothes you were wearing at the party
You’d have a little coffee but your gut couldn’t keep it down
It’s the start of the day and you say no way
But the crew hands you a brew and it’s time to play
Next thing you know, you’re partying and painting the town

I’m on a three day bender baby watch me go
I’m on a three day bender baby rock and roll
Don’t know how much more of this that I can take
I’m getting up early, staying up too late
I’m on a three day bender baby pretty soon I’m gonna break.

SHE’S A CHIMNEY
I've got a crush on...
My bowling alley cocktail waitress down at the Lucky Lanes
She says that I'm too young for her, won't give me the time of day
But I see her every Wednesday at the league night slinging booze
She's got me jumping right out of my old school bowling shoes

I'm all hung up on a woman but she don't love me
I'm choked up on a second hand accessory
I know I'm never gonna change her ways
Cuz women like that don't change

She's a chimney, she's a chimney
She's sucking on a heater, put the love music on
She's a chimney, she's a chimney
Roll me over with your loving ways
She's a chimney, are you with me
Puff puff give, but she don't give
She's a chimney, sugar momma, ONE

What am I gonna do with the notion of you?
I can't get you out of my head
I know it sounds lame, you've knocked me out of my game
Quit loving on who you're loving on and come love on me instead

I'm all hung up on a woman but she don't love me
I'm choked up on a second hand accessory
I know I'm never gonna change her ways
Cuz women like that don't change

She's a chimney, she's a chimney
She's sucking on a heater, put the love music on
She's a chimney, she's a chimney
Roll me over with your loving ways
She's a chimney, are you with me
Puff puff give, but she don't give
She's a chimney, sugar momma, ONE

Left to the right, top to the bottom
Step outside and smoke ‘em if you got ‘em…

SENIOR KEGGER
I’m having Sunday morning coffee with granpa
He’s not looking so good
It seems his way of life is taking it’s toll
He won’t take care of himself like he should

He says he doesn’t get to hang out with his buddies much
And they’re too old to change their tune
Grandma just smiles as she refills our coffee and says,
“Grandpa’s gonna do what grandpa’s gonna do.”

Grandpa got crazy last night partying and carrying on
Who knew that gramps and his crew could play a mean game of beer pong
They might be moving slow, but that doesn’t slow them down
Cuz they throw down every time they get together
It’s an all night senior kegger

Grandpa’s buddy Harold hands me a keg cup and says,
“we may be old but the night’s still young.”
They talk about the war, they get all choked up
Then grandpa turned to me and said, “listen up son.

Be true to your God, save your best for your family
Be with people you trust, you’ll be a happy man
And I trust you kid, now pick me up by the legs
And help an old man do a keg stand.”

Grandpa got crazy last night partying and carrying on
Who knew the gramps and his crew could play a mean game of beer pong
They might be moving slow, but that doesn’t slow them down
Cuz they throw down every time they get together
It’s an all night senior kegger

Then grandpa climbed up on the kitchen table and said,
“everybody raise your drinks high
It’s been a lot of fun but everybody out
Cuz me and grandma need some alone time.”

Grandpa got crazy last night partying and carrying on
Who knew the gramps and his crew would whip our hineys playing beer pong
They might be moving slow, but that doesn’t slow them down
Cuz they throw down every time they get together
It’s an all night senior kegger

REAL MAN
I see you walking his way when you should be walking mine
I’m here to tell you pretty baby, my loving aint no five and dime

You want the real deal, I aint no happy meal
You want the golden fries, I’ll be your supersize
You want Sly Stallone, I’ll never leave you alone
You want the Terminator, I’m your Arnold Schwarzenegger

Baby, baby don’t turn the other cheek
That guy is so useless, his sauce is so weak
When I’m taking you out I’m always gonna pay
If you want a real man start walking my way

I remember feeling hopeless, flat broke and quite dopeless
But instead of rolling fatties I just roll my eyes
Cuz you’re the only thing that’ll get me high

You want the good stuff, you like it nice and rough
You want the fine champagne, I’m the tiger you can tame
You want a cup of coffeee, I’m your Juan Valdez
I’ll be your candy dispenser you can be my Pez

Baby, baby don’t turn the other cheek
That guy is so useless, his sauce is so weak
When I’m taking you out I’m always gonna pay
If you want a real man, start walking my way

DANCE SLOW
We dreamed about it, having our first dance barefoot on the sand
With the waves rolling up on the shore
The ocean playing with our toes was the way it’s supposed to go
But the clouds rolled in
The rain got cold, and sent us all home

Looks like our plans didn’t go the way we’d like
If this is real romance, I guess we’ll have to improvise

So light a candle on the coffee table
I’ll get the lights and find a slow song playing on the stereo
Meet me barefoot on the carpet in the living room
And let it all go.
I want to dance slow.

With your body against mine, your head on my chest
This feels so amazing
The rain keeps coming down outside, but it’s all ok
It turned out pretty cool this way

Having you all to myself is what I’ve been needing
I’m so overwhelmed, the way that I’m feeling

So light a candle on the coffee table
I’ll get the lights and find a slow song playing on the stereo
Meet me barefoot in the middle of the living room
And let it all go.
I want to dance slow.           

UNDERCOVER WORLD
She’s all tricked out on the side of the road,
Waiting for anybody to take her home
That's just the way each evening goes, so
She steps outside looking for a ride
It's the same situation each and every time
The unsuspecting victim of tonight

In her undercover world, you're never going to get close to her
In her undercover world, there's more than meets the eye
And I'm thinking that I'd love to love her, but I know I never could
Cuz she's not just some ordinary girl
In her undercover world

A brand new face with a different name
Everything changes but it's all the same
A dangerous song and dance day after day, so
The boots to on to nail the next John
Before you know what happened the girl's long gone
Leaving what's left of you to fade away

In her undercover world, you're never going to get close to her
In her undercover world, there's more than meets the eye
And I'm thinking that I'd love to love her, but I know I never could
Cuz she's not just some ordinary girl

Call it entrapment call it what you like
But if you do the crime you're going to pay the fine
Nothing personal, she does it for the fun
You can spend your time dreaming about the way things should be
So imaginary but in reality I guarantee
I said I guarantee you're going down
You’re going down

In her undercover world, you're never going to get close to her
In her undercover world, there's more than meets the eye
And I'm thinking that I'd love to love her, but I know I never could
Cuz she's not just some ordinary girl
She’s never gonna be just some ordinary girl
In her undercover world

She’s all tricked out on the side of the road
In her undercover world

THIS IS PERFECT
I can’t fall back asleep after the radio alarm clock wakes me up
But you hit the snooze again
I just lie there wide awake, snuggled close to you
Wondering why I haven’t gotten out of bed

And I can be a little cranky before I get my coffee
But you just smile and never seem to mind
When I come to my senses I can’t help but shake my head
And wonder how you ended up all mine.

I’m not perfect and I never will be
But I’m as close as I get when you’re with me
It’s my real storybook ending
Baby let’s call this what it is
This is perfect.

There you go again fumbling through the closet
Telling me you don’t what you want to wear
I try not to get impatient but by the time we’ve got to go
You look incredible and I can’t help but stare

I know I make you crazy, I know I make you laugh
But most of all I know I make you happy
I love you, I want you, I love just being with you
So baby you can’t blame me.

I’m not perfect and I never will be
But I’m as close as I get when you’re with me
It’s my real story book ending
Baby let’s call this what it is
This is perfect.
You and me, this is perfect.

DUB-T BOOTAY
blue jean mini skirt
tube top and she's showing it off
blowing bubbles with bazooka gum
red lipstick on gonna get 'er done

going out on the town tonight with her hair full of aqua net
burning one as she's burning oil in her rusted out Chevette
Pall Mall, southern drawl aint got no cell but she's making a call
from a pay phone, time to get down.

CH-white trash booty, gimme some of that sweet honey
white trash booty, gimme some of that sweet love

skin still burning from a new tattoo
driving me crazy with her attitude
cruisin’ the strip and spending her dough
on some country fried chicken with some rock 'n' roll

gotta lotta hot air upstairs but I don't see nothin' wrong
cuz when you're looking from the neck on down that girl's got it goin' on
Pall Mall, southern drawl aint got no cell but she's making a call
from a pay phone, time to get down.

CH- white trash booty, gimme some of that sweet honey
white trash booty, gimme some of that sweet love

LIVIN’ LARGE
Taking it easy shouldn’t be so hard
It’s taken us awhile to figure that out
We get done what we gotta get done so we can get back to our guitars
Write another song, soak it in and here we are

When life is easy, take it easy
Open up the windows and let the sunshine in
It’s about family, it’s about friends, it’s about good times that never end
And thanking God for one more day, we’re living large.

I know what’s on your mind
The same thought crosses mine all the time
Should I follow other peoples dreams for me
Or keep doing my own thing?
If the world’s not laughing at you, then you’re doing something wrong
So here’s to those who don’t get it, soon enough they’ll come along

When life is easy, take it easy
Open up the windows and let the sunshine in
It’s about family, it’s about friends, it’s about dreaming that never ends
And thanking God for one more day, we’re living large.

JESUS, IF YOU GET ME OUT OF THIS ONE
I’m piss drunk on a roof and I don’t know how I got here
I should probably slow down but I’ve got a drink in both hands
Shirtless, pantless, clueless, standing in my underwear
Everybody’s pointing from the lawn below
Hollering they want to see my underwear go

Jesus, if you get me out of this one, I’ll never drink again.
Jesus, if you get me out of this one, I’ll never drink again.

Last night was insane riding on the drunk train
But the drunk train derailed, and right now I feel like hell
Shaking, quaking, headache, the pain is never ending
Lord in your mercy if you grant me one wish
Come morning my car bumper will be sporting a fish

Jesus, if you get me out of this one, I’ll never drink again.
Jesus, if you get me out of this one, I’ll never drink again.

And Lord if you had a cell phone I’d probably drunk text you
I’d tell you how I think you’re really cool
And I love you bro
I know I was drunk last time when I said I’d never drink again
But this time I mean it Lord
Oh wait there’s a call coming in
Ugh, gotta go.

Jesus, if you get me out of this one, I’ll never drink again.