My father in-law had me peeing my pants yesterday when I went and saw him for my taxes. He has some great one-liners and sayings that he pulls out from time to time. “That guy goes through money faster than shit through a tin horn!” HEH! Another one is, “Honestly. That guy there is so dumb, he couldn’t pour piss out of a boot!”
To him, they’re just that; sayings……stuff he’s heard and said his whole life, that is now commonplace in his vernacular. To me, it’s pure comedic bliss. Authentic frontier jibberish at its finest. A generational smorgasboard of jargon. We’ve all heard ‘em…….”Crabbier than a bear with a sore ass”….”Straight as a Grizzly’s dick”……then there’s just the single words. “Puddychuckin”……”Fiddlefartin”…..etc.
Take this feller here in the pic for example. You know he’s thinking something like, “Dadgummit…this here shitter shoe is gonna come in on that there stake hotter than a snake’s ass in a wagon rut!”
Kweej has got some shitten doozies too man……..I’ll let him drop you with some comments though, as to not steal his thunder. I wanna hear some of your favs……
Get the download instantly plus we'll mail you the CD. Your choice of high bit rate MP3s or Lossless and no DRM.
What about “……meaner than a dog shittin’ tacks”
“I got so drunk last night, I couldn’t hit my own ass with a 2 gallon scoop shovel”
“USELESS AS A PISS BONER” HEH!
“Hornier than a two-peckered billy goat” Does anyone know if there is such a thing as a two-peckered billy goat?
My favorite comes from City Slickers “I’m happier than a puppy with two peters!”
My personal fav would be “She could eat corn thru a picket fence”
or maybe “A whole lot of moose n squirrel going on there.” You girls know who you are.
My favorite old school saying ever was from Nancy’s uncle Vern: “that poor woman was uglier than a mud fence.”
she’s so ugly she can make a freight train take a dirt road…